The Cleanse

After cold and/or rainy weather for what seemed like weeks, we were glad to see the sun and warmish temperatures this week.  Parker was so happy to be outside.

Yay for outside play!

We were both filthy after this outing, but it was fun!

This post will be a departure from normal.  Instead of tons of Parker pics, I'm going to tell you about my experience doing Dr. Oz's weekend cleanse.  Now, I'm not one to try fad diets, and I'm not a health-food nut; in fact, my food staples include turkey sandwiches, pizza, chicken tenders, and chocolate.  However, I had been feeling bloated and overall gross for about a week and thought maybe a "cleanse" might help.  I didn't want an all-juice diet or anything crazy, just something to help my system feel better.  I Googled "cleanse," and the first thing that popped up was Dr. Oz's 48-hr one.  I read a little about it, saw the ingredient list, and decided that it seemed simple enough and mostly doable with a few modifications.  I was glad that it had a full menu because I don't like going hungry.  It consisted of a list of ingredients and recipes for breakfast, lunch, supper, and snacks that you eat two days in a row.  The claim is that these foods detoxify the liver, colon, and kidneys which are responsible for detoxifying our bodies.  Dr. Oz warns that you will be in the bathroom a lot.

Exhibit A: Handy Shopping List

Armed with my handy shopping list, I went to the store on Sunday to stock up for the cleanse.  Because I wasn't 100% serious and committed, I chose to skip the mushrooms, cabbage, and sauerkraut; I'm pretty picky, and those are things I just won't eat.  I couldn't find rice milk, flax seed oil, and plain pomegranate juice, so I nixed the first two ingredients and subbed blueberry-pomegranate for the juice.  I prepped what I could on Monday night, and on Tuesday morning, I woke up ready to start my cleanse!

Breakfast consisted of a quinoa and prune mix with a few other ingredients.  I like prunes fine and had eaten quinoa in a tasty casserole before, so I thought this would be ok.  Well, I was WRONG!!  Breakfast tasted like mush with warm prunes.

Exhibit B: Breakfast Mush.  Doesn't look appetizing, and tasted even worse!

I only made half of the amount the recipe called for, and I just couldn't finish it.  I knew I should eat as much as possible because it was supposed to fuel me for a while, but I really just couldn't.  I choked down maybe a third of the bowl.  Blech.

Lunch was a smoothie made with almond milk (I'd never tried it), blueberries, and banana.  I figured it had to be tasty and was looking forward to it.

Exhibit C: Pretty Purple Lunch Smoothie

The problem with the smoothie was that it was 1) too small and 2) too bland.  With only 1/4 cup of blueberries and 1/4 of a banana, most of the flavor came from the almond milk which just really isn't flavorful.  Parker really liked it and drank quite a bit, so after lunch, I was fairly hungry having had only part of the bland smoothie and a few bites of the awful breakfast mush.

Luckily, the cleanse included unlimited snacks.  Exhibit D:  The Snacks:

Veggies

Juice drink

Smoothie

The veggies were tossed with olive oil, lemon juice, salt, and pepper.  Not bad except that I'm not a huge raw veggie fan.  I did manage to finish all of the carrots.
      
Now, I actually enjoyed the purple drink made with pineapple juice, the blueberry-pomegranate juice blend, lemon juice, and water.  I didn't add as much water as the recipe called for because I ran out of room in my cup.  I'd drink this again in normal life.

The green smoothie had potential.  It was made with pineapple and kale.  However, it contained mint, and it came across as tasting too "green" and minty for me.  Parker enjoyed it, though.  I think I'll make this smoothie again without the mint and see how it is.

Even with unlimited snacks, I was pretty dang hungry once supper rolled around.  Supper consisted of an apple and soup containing onions, celery, fennel, garlic, and several spices.  Since the shopping list included 1 pound of green beans and I didn't see them in any of the recipes, I threw the pound of green beans in there as well.  I had made the soup in advance and felt like I was making a witch's brew using eye of newt, bat toenails, etc.

Soup being prepared

Needless to say, at this point, I was really, really looking forward to the apple.  My first "normal" food of the day!  I chose the largest one that I had and packed it and the soup up to take with us to a burger joint.  Yes, while I was stuck eating this awful soup, Himal chose to go out to eat to a place that has fantastic fries.  He's evil, I tell you!!  But I (mostly) resisted his temptations (I did snatch a few of his fries) and ate my sad soup and delicious apple.

Exhibit E:  The Soup

The soup was edible.  Not fantastic, but I had two helpings on the first night.  I'd never, ever choose to eat this on a normal day.  It was salty but had a weird aftertaste - I think from the fennel which smells like black licorice.  After each bite, I'd chase it with my drink or the apple.
 

I woke up on day 2 dreading the day because I knew what I was in for at each meal.  I was already looking forward to that shining glory of an apple at the end of the day and planning what kind of victory meal I'd eat the next day once it was all over.  Because I had been hungry the first day, I knew I had to eat more of the breakfast mush.  I ate as much as I could but still didn't finish half the bowl.

I decided to ramp up the flavor of the lunch smoothie by adding some blueberry-pomegranate juice.  That helped, but I wouldn't describe it as being tasty.  I drank plenty of the purple juice snack and had some carrots but skipped the green smoothie.  I found the soup to be even less appetizing the second time around and didn't finish one bowl.  Once again, I chased every bite of the soup with the apple or my drink.

During the cleanse, you're supposed to take an epsom salt bath.  I did that both nights and enjoyed reading a magazine in the tub.  I "cheated" a bit with the cleanse.  On both days, Parker tried to feed me some of his snacks, and I didn't turn him down.  I also gobbled up the few bites of bread that he didn't finish at lunch.  Those few small bites were moments of sheer bliss!  I also had diet Coke each day.  You aren't supposed to eat past 7:00 at night.  The first night, I was hungry and decided that the unlimited juice snack didn't count as eating, so I sipped on that all evening.  The second night, I was way too hungry and ready to be done, so I had chocolate covered cake at 9:30 at night!!!  And let me tell you, it was beyond delicious!

TWO slices of heaven!

The Results:  Even with my little cheats, the cleanse helped my bloat.  That could have just been due to the fact that I didn't eat as much as normal.  As Dr. Oz warned, I did go to the bathroom more than normal on the second day, but it wasn't anything too bad.  I wasn't trying to diet, but I lost two pounds over the two days.  I didn't notice feeling any differently (besides hungry!), but I've been tired because Parker has been getting up really early.
 
What I Learned:   I'm glad I went through the cleanse because it was amusing.  I don't think I'll follow this cleanse again.  However, if I'm feeling bloated and gross in the future, I think I'll join the spirit of this cleanse and limit processed foods and increase several of the foods and spices used here.  It just wasn't worth it to me to feel hungry and hate every meal.  I learned that I'm glad I don't have to follow a strict diet because I get too much enjoyment out of choosing foods based on my mood.  Particularly as a mom, I don't want any diet where I'm walking around hungry all day; it was harder to stay engaged with Parker when all I wanted was a substantial meal. 

Speaking of Parker, I'll leave you with a couple of pics of him.  I hope you have a great weekend full of delicious, filling meals!!  I know that's on my agenda!